The Texas Paper Towel Massacre

We have been so busy with this move, we haven't been the most diligent at updating you, our avid readers, on what is going on out here in Texas. While we will have to do so a bit at a time, this story just couldn't wait.

It was a quite night in Round Rock as we finished setting up our new dining table (pictures to come in the near future). As Shaunelle carried empty boxes down the hallway to our box storage room (once a large living area) she was startled to see a large shadow lurking in the darkness. Turning on the light switch to get a better look at the intruder, she was taken back as she beheld the largest, ugliest spider she had ever seen (we are talking tarantula size here, people...well maybe not quite that size but Texas-big for sure!). She hollered to me instructing me to bring a cup and a peice of paper as to not harm the creature upon capture so that we could return it safely to the wild (if she hadn't been there, the spider would have met a much grimmer fate). Being the great husband that I am, I cornered the spider and moved in for the capture. As I slammed the cup down, the spider made a sudden run for it which proved to be a fatal mistake as the lip of the cup crushed the spider in half. Moving quickly so that my tender wife would not see what I had done, I lifted the cup to scoop the body "safely" back into the cup so that I could "free" the "live" spider. Much to my surprise, when I lifted the cup, hundreds of baby spiders launched off of the back of the big spider who had apprantly been transporting them.

As the swarm of babies rushed every which way, I felt greatly outnumbered...having recently visited the Alamo I like to compare myself to Davy Crockett bravely protecting my Alamo against that oncoming spider soldiers. Anyway, having to think quickly on my feet before the spiders infested other areas of the house I yelled to Shaunelle to bring me paper towels as I tried to corral the babies the best that I could. While doing so, the big spider gave another twitch releasing another hundred or so babies onto the battlefield...this scene was like something from a Sci-Fi movie, you truly had to have been there to appreciate it!

CAUTION: THIS NEXT PART IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. DO NOT CONTINUE READING AS THINGS GET UGLY.

Each armed with a paper towel, we each spread our sheet over the mass of spiders and began stomping like crazy. After approximately 5 minutes of heavy artillary, we surveyed our work. With no survivors, our paper towels were coated with the remains of what had once been hundreds of spiders. We were victorious! While we can sleep safely for now, I am sure that many more creepy crawlies are lurking just outside our door waiting to breach our border. Anybody want to move to Texas now?!

Just as an update, we are almost fully moved into our new home. Once we get things cleaned up a bit, we will post a video tour and some pictures of the new place for those of you who are interested.